Hearing Loss
As many of you know at this point, I've been losing my hearing. Right now, I'm still trying to find (with the help of doctors and specialists) what's caused it. I've seen 3 doctors, a specialist, an audiologist, had an MRI, a hearing test, and gotten a hearing aid. And still, no firm answers. The next step is for me to go to UNMC for some more testing. It's possible I have Meniere's disease, as many of my symptoms line up. If this is the case, I could lose more of my hearing.
Overall, I've coped with this fairly well - a lot better than I would have two years ago. I mean, two years ago, I was going into college as a music major. While I know continuing to lose my hearing will mean more adjustments, I am learning more and more that I can still follow my calling to be a pastor, even if I end up being profoundly deaf.
I got my hearing aid in July, and it's helped me a lot. It sounds different, but I can follow conversations better than I was. I don't think I really realized how much I'd lost until I put the hearing aid in and could suddenly hear much more than I had. It's not perfect, but again, I can at least follow a conversation better. I went through a demo-week of a hearing aid, and now have my own. It looks just about the same.
An experience that I had on mission trip that particularly stuck out to me happened on Tuesday morning of the trip. While I loved watching the students grow in their faith, growing closer to them, and especially talking about God all week, this experience was one I knew God had just for me.
We were at Morning Glory Cafe volunteering, and I noticed another volunteer with a blue hearing aid in his right ear! I signed to him something about "Hey, I notice you have a hearing aid, so do I!" We ended up talking for awhile in ASL, which was the first time I'd had a full-on conversation in ASL. I'm not good, but I knew what he was saying 98% of the time. Jeremy is his name. Jeremy is fully deaf, but oral (meaning he talks). He went deaf at the age of 1, and has lived in KC most of his life. One of the workers at Morning Glory had also learned to sign for Jeremy. Our conversation that we had between the three of us was one of those moments that God provided for me. Even if I go deaf, people will surround me, just as they've surrounded Jeremy.
When we were about to leave, Jeremy was looking for me, and I found him, and he wanted me to meet one of his friends (pictured behind me.) He was deaf and not oral, so that really tested my ASL skills. While we were in a rush to leave, I was so happy to have met these two. While I look exhausted from waking up at 4:15 that morning and being a youth pastor on a mission trip, this is one of my favorite pictures, because it reminds me of God's promise that He'll never abandon me.
Overall, I've coped with this fairly well - a lot better than I would have two years ago. I mean, two years ago, I was going into college as a music major. While I know continuing to lose my hearing will mean more adjustments, I am learning more and more that I can still follow my calling to be a pastor, even if I end up being profoundly deaf.
I got my hearing aid in July, and it's helped me a lot. It sounds different, but I can follow conversations better than I was. I don't think I really realized how much I'd lost until I put the hearing aid in and could suddenly hear much more than I had. It's not perfect, but again, I can at least follow a conversation better. I went through a demo-week of a hearing aid, and now have my own. It looks just about the same.
An experience that I had on mission trip that particularly stuck out to me happened on Tuesday morning of the trip. While I loved watching the students grow in their faith, growing closer to them, and especially talking about God all week, this experience was one I knew God had just for me.
We were at Morning Glory Cafe volunteering, and I noticed another volunteer with a blue hearing aid in his right ear! I signed to him something about "Hey, I notice you have a hearing aid, so do I!" We ended up talking for awhile in ASL, which was the first time I'd had a full-on conversation in ASL. I'm not good, but I knew what he was saying 98% of the time. Jeremy is his name. Jeremy is fully deaf, but oral (meaning he talks). He went deaf at the age of 1, and has lived in KC most of his life. One of the workers at Morning Glory had also learned to sign for Jeremy. Our conversation that we had between the three of us was one of those moments that God provided for me. Even if I go deaf, people will surround me, just as they've surrounded Jeremy.
When we were about to leave, Jeremy was looking for me, and I found him, and he wanted me to meet one of his friends (pictured behind me.) He was deaf and not oral, so that really tested my ASL skills. While we were in a rush to leave, I was so happy to have met these two. While I look exhausted from waking up at 4:15 that morning and being a youth pastor on a mission trip, this is one of my favorite pictures, because it reminds me of God's promise that He'll never abandon me.
The Meniere's disease possibility is tough for me. It's an incurable disease that impacts each person with it differently, which makes it unpredictable. It's not just the hearing loss, but it's the dizziness, vertigo, the tinnitus and pressure in my ears that lead them to believe this could possibly be what I have. Yesterday, I could barely stand up all day because I was so dizzy and had vertigo that lasted all day. If I have Meniere's, I'll have to change my diet, too. A few years ago, I had to go to a cardiologist, and they told me to increase my salt intake for the dizziness I was having then. Now, I'd have to cut salt out of my diet as much as possible, among other things.
I'm also going to learn ASL and take a class this fall, so I'll be able to continue to communicate no matter what.
But here's the thing. While it's frustrating to me and I worry a bit, I'm not completely freaked out like I normally would have. I've been pretty calm about it. And there's really only one reason for it: God's got me. Hearing or deaf, while I'm chasing His call, I know He'll provide whatever I need and equip me for His work.
Through trials and pain, please remember that same thing. God's got you.
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