Not Enough

The world has lots of ways of telling me I'm not enough.  

Within my family, I can't solve all of the problems.  Sometimes, I cause them.  I'm not enough.

At work, I'm not enough. I can't get all I want to get done in my part-time hours.  I can't get "enough" kids to come.  I can't get all of my students to understand that God loves them and that should somehow change their life.  I'm not enough.

At school, I'm not enough.  This class I'm taking this summer somehow is both not challenging at all, and also really frustrating and tough. I don't understand it and it's very easy.  It might break my 4.0.  I'm not enough.

With friends, I'm never enough. The few friends I make always have plenty of other friends, and I'm not enough. 

With my peers, I'm not enough.  I'm not funny enough, or I don't drink enough (at all), or I just don't fit in enough.  I'm not enough.

Trying to date, I'm not enough.  I'm not skinny enough or attractive enough or (is sultry even a word people still use?) enough. I'm just not enough.

Even the librarian told me I'm not enough.  I didn't turn my book in on time and I didn't use the self-check out machine, so even as a person in a library, I'm not enough.  

Apparently, I can't even hear enough! I now have to pay to be able to hear, and I'm not enough.

I'm not rich enough for the world. When I look at medical bills and school bills and the cost of seminary, I worry that I'm not enough.  I love buying things for other people, but I'm not rich enough to really do that, either. 

My own body reminds me that I'm not enough.  I'm out of shape.  And on top of that, I have these spells of vertigo and dizziness, and they remind me that I'm not enough.

I'm not giving enough. I remember this when people talk about tithing, giving to charity, and spending time volunteering.  I care so much about these sorts of issues, but I don't really spend enough hours working to help others.  I'm not enough.

I'm not learning enough.  I have all of these books I've meant to read and I don't even know what I do with my time that I haven't had time to read them.  I'm not doing enough. 

I'm not old enough.  In many aspects, the people I most look up to and get along with are older than me, and I'm always reminded that I'm not old enough.  (And with my peers, I act too old.)  I'm not enough.

I'm not happy enough, or sad enough, or any "emotion" enough, because someone is always happier, more sad, etc.  I'm not enough.

I'm not forgiving enough. Or I hold onto things too tightly.  I think I am over something, but then I'm reminded of it and it can still make me cry and cry.  I'm not enough.

I'm not enough. 

At least, that's what this world makes me want to think.  

But you know what? I AM enough.  

God created me in His image.  He is powerful and wonderful and my Creator didn't bring me into this world because I'm not enough for it. 

The world tells me, over and over, that I'm not enough.  

But Jesus tells me: "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care.  And even the very hairs of your head are numbered.  So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31 NIV

God lives in me.  And He is FAR greater than the world.  

I may not have everything society is looking for and I may not be perfect, but my perfect God loves me anyway.  His overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love chases me down and holds onto me, and even when everything else is telling me I'm not enough, He tells me: you're more than enough. 

If you are feeling like me, like you're not enough - remember:

God created you, and He thinks you're more than enough. (And in the end, His opinion is the only one that really matters!)